Chapter 87: Twenty-Fourth

Monday, May 21, 2018


credit: pascalchampion's deviantart
Happy 24th years of breathing dear self... There's still no sweet treats for you since it's a holy month and you're still on holiday but hey, at least you got plenty of love for today... The most heart-warming moment was to know how much love people had been feeling for you and in the end, you just realized that you're still important to them.. For the positive vibes that you had been spreading, congratulations dear self.. For the negativity that you had in life, may you slowly learn how to tune it into a positivity.. Nobody is perfect, but this growing process of yours may affect others too so please, cope with it well.. It's a new life waiting ahead, more adventurous moment waiting for you, or perhaps, a prince charming would be appearing soon..? Who knows, right..? Just don't stop having faith in you.. Keep chasing your dreams, have a wonderful journey and I'll definitely see you again in another year with the same date, okay dear self..? Just remember, no matter what you did or whatever awaits in the future, I'll always love you..

With love, 

Chapter 86: Love [#7seriesofwriting]

Sunday, May 13, 2018

chapters by flavnesz
credits: grafolio
"I tried to put this in words... In a secretive way... But those memories were too good, that I hate for it to be a secret..."

"Why don't you tell this directly..?"
"Why can't I do it indirectly..?"

"You need to express it.. It's now or nothing... Signal him something...! Come on...!"
"But HOW..?! What if he's too blind to see it..? Or.. What if I'm just too late..?!"

"Or... What if he's reading this now..? Shouldn't you just write this..?"
"Even if he's reading this now, would it change anything..?"

"Don't you love him..?"
"How do I define that word in the first place..?"

"Okay.. Let's start with this... Do you even like him from the start...?"
"No... I disliked him at the first glance.. Those tiny eyes and serious expression doesn't charmed me at all but my friend thought he was attractive.."

"And now...?"
"What do you mean by now..? It's been months since the last time I met him.."

"Okay, faulty question.. And then..?"
"Can't you just stop playing around..?!"

"Okay... I don't know why but I can't stop thinking of him, although it's been months since things ended.. I kept thinking how charismatic he was whenever he's doing his duty.. Such a flaming charisma.. However, he had a cheeky smile and attitude which I only realized after we got to communicate to each other.Those eyes which annoyed me at first, is something that I admired the most now..  There are times he would seek for my help and I could never say no to him, and there are times where I felt like he purposely did the thing just to trouble me but somehow, I'm delighted to do the work for him.. And out of my realization, I kept looking for him in silence throughout the end of my days..."

"Well.. It ended.. Your only source of happiness had ended.."
"Umm.. Not really.."

"Well, we followed each other on soc-med and seeing his name is enough to make my day.. Just enough to make me smile for the whole day.."

"Doesn't that just define what you've been feelings..?"

"Love.. Back to your question.. How do I define love...? The answer is this feeling of yours is something we called love.. He made your day in silence, and you just can't stop thinking of him.."

"What if.. He's just a crush..? Maybe I just admired him.. That's all.."

"How long has it been since the last time you met him..?"
"8 months"

"If he's just a crush, shouldn't it be over now and you should be having a new crush right after the new life started... The thing is, it hasn't over yet and you kept hoping for his presence in silence.. If that's not something that you could call love, then, what is it..?"

written by;
-Flavnesz @ Chapters_ 2.05 a.m.-

Chapter 85: New Gov....?

Thursday, May 10, 2018


I'm planning to update some poetry or other stuff but hey, my first voting experience should be potrayed here, just a reminder for myself how it was voting for the first time.. Oh wait, I'm not that eager actually.. I was too lazy to get out today and the first thing that crossed out my mind was, "Can't I just stay at home..?"

Yeah.. I'm not in spirit of voting although I'm the first timer, just because I don't want to queue up under the hot weather. But then, it was my obligation as the Malaysian citizen to vote so yeah, I did get off my bed and followed my sisters to the school for voting.
from left: me, ateh and kak chik :p

We went there before lunch hour and luckily, all of us settled within an hour. To best part..? Mine settled in less than 10 minutes, simply because there's no one on the line and I was the only person that went to "saluran 8" at that particular moment while some other saluran was filled with people queuing up.. Ateh even complained saying " Patut kau first timer, rasa feel mengundi.. Ni mengundi sensorang.."๐Ÿ˜‚

But as long as I did my part, who cares if I don't get the feeling I'm supposed to..? haha.. 

To be honest, I'm not a bias of any party.. Right from the start, I was completely neutral but if I you're asking me about my state, Negeri Sembilan, I would definitely vote for BN, just because Dato' Seri Mohammad was the best that we ever had..  I even told my sisters that if he's competing to be the PM, he would definitely be in my list and I won't even look on others.. I love how humble he was and how he could joke around with people.. He blended in just well.. 

But I'm not really sure on others.. I mean.. I don't really look up on others simply because I don't know or never been able to meet them in person but I do have a favor of a bit wanting to change, just to see what would it be if BN doesn't rule for once.. Would it truly be a better country..? Or would it be the worst..? Will they truly grant those countless words that they had been spreading around..? Won't there be any hidden agenda..? What would happen on the next 5 years..? And the most important thing, just what would happen in the future..? 

And seems like, we're changing this time, although it's not official yet.. Well at least, Negeri Sembilan is changing.. I'm not truly delighted that my state is not under my favorable MB anymore but oh well, I should give the new ones a chance.. Who knows it would be better..? All I could do is to pray that the decision was the best let's just hope for improvement, day by day.. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Ps// dear tok mad, thank you for proving to us that you could lead us a better life.. You're the best, tok.. ๐Ÿ™

Chapter 84: Another New Life

Thursday, May 3, 2018

One thing I love about life, is how Allah had organized our life in a meaningful way. It was a bumpy road for me since the middle of degree as I started to be in depression despite I tried my best to live my life to the fullest. Things seemed bothersome to me and I started not to be me.I started to get impatient and things get so wrong when I couldn't voiced out my feelings at all...

The urgency of taking care of others' feelings, the "what if's" wouldn't stop lingering in my mind and slowly, I took the blame on my own. I slowly voiced out my feelings to kak chik and ateh, two of my best sister and thankfully, they do take my feelings as their biggest concern.

That was when Ateh voiced out for me to live alone, stop bothering on others and be independent. It was not an easy decision for me and the search ain't easy as the house that I lived was way too good to let it go. RM230 fully furnished with WIFI, 4 minutes in walking distance to college so why else would I go?

The only trouble that I had was there's no study table and I had to go out if I want a comfy study space, which Sunway Velocity Mall foodcourt was my study port whenever I want to jot down some notes and going there requires me to call the "Grab" and again, it's a waste of money as you know, "Grab" had less promotion compared to "Uber". Yes Grab, I'm complaining on you..!

However, The single basis room was too pricey and the cheap ones were too far from the college and each time I'm comforting myself, "It's okay, you could just use the lrt, and just think that crossing the pedestrian bridge as your exercise" but then here's my kak chik asking, "Rumah tu dekat tak dengan kolej? Mana lagi senang and dekat ? Ape cons dia?"

And the new search began.. I almost gave up and wanted to just close my heart and stay but then again, Allah surely know your feelings the best and He always helps you in a way you could hardly believe. I told myself, "This is it. If I can't find a room by this week, I won't leave.. It would just means I'm meant to be here till the end.." 

Just before the day ended, I found an advertisement of rental room within my budget and it's just a few meters futher away but still in the same housing area and I could still walk to my college using another route! I was so eager and the moment I told kak chik and ateh, they're like, "Jangan excited dulu, kitorang yang nak kena dahulukan deposit. Meh gamba bilik semua" and kak chik was like "Mana lagi murah?" while ateh kept backing me up, claiming the room was the standard cheapest price for single basis but thankfully once kak chik saw the room's picture, she responded, "Okay, boleh pindah".

I was totally all over the moon when kak chik gave the green light. It iss not a luxury room with luxury stuff but it's just perfect enough for me. The girl was kind enough to leave her bed and study table behind and she kept asking me, "Awak sure nak meja ni? Kita kutip meja ni orang buang, tapi elok lagi, so kita amik and balut dengan pembalut hadiah je but it's usable." and I eagerly answered, "Nak! I memang nak meja study". 

So right now, I'm already in my new room, eager to fill and decorate this little heaven of mine with just something that I need but since my exam is coming in few days, I should wait for awhile. It's just a new journey of mine and somehow, it's just felt so good to be here. I'm feeling alive, well at least, for now and hopefully, till the end of degree. 

© Chapters. Design by FCD.