Futuromic Lancar Ricoh GR IV di Malaysia
1 day ago
Assalammualaikum...
After years of ignorance, this blog of mine seems like has found its way to breath again. Funny how the desire of updating this space had been lingering in my mind all this while but only decided to flow out itself only by today. No, I didn't forget this space but I am all drowned with adulthood. Now where should I start? haha...
I have to say, life has never been easy on me.... but I do believe that it is the same for everyone. I had to go through plenty of career changes, just for the sake for me to find the key of the life which is so called "happiness"; from teaching in English Centre to skincare content writer and lastly as a part time English lecturer before finally, now, I'm a gov English teacher. And the truth is..? I'm still searching for it.
I am still wondering what is my actual desire in this life and never once occurred in my mind that I would be in this current situation.
I resigned teaching kids at first, knowing they drained my energy off and I had been struggling financially.
Got the chance to be a content writer then, and I was so hyped up for it at first but ended up realizing; that I shouldn't turn my hobby into a career. It was fun to be a content writer, to learn about the marketing products but there are too much empty moments that made me missed teaching even more. Plus, I had trouble to fit into the company's society. Life felt emptier, as there's literally no one for me to talk with.
Hence, the moment I received the offer to be a part time lecturer, I am willing to give up my writing desire, and back into teaching. Guess what? It felt just right on that time. I don't have to stress myself; thinking about the kids, and only Allah knows how much I had been enjoying it. However, it was not a permanent offer. The offer for me to be a gov English teacher came right away after the college semester ended and just in time when I was about to become jobless.
Well, who can deny that Allah is the best planner as He is also the sole rizq giver. I was enjoying myself the whole last year. I enjoyed teaching more than ever, found my way to deal with the kids, had a fun year adapting with the school life and I've gained a lot last year. I can say, it was the year that I finally found my happiness after papa passed away.
However, rainbows never stays in one place, right...? The new school semester has just started but there's already plenty of mental breakdown series and all I had been thinking right now is to quit, to give up everything that have.... The reasons...? My mind is screaming and my energy is yawning. *paused*
I wish.... *Wearing the faith coats"
On everything....
Though everything feels so wrong right now, I will still be keeping my faith on Him and I will believe that this is just a temporary storm as sign of His love... Let's just keep the hope, dearself.
P/s: I'm not in my right mind, please ignore the grammatical errors.. haha
"Aku dah cakap kan, Allah tu baik.... Percaya je dengan Dia... Sekarang kau tak nampak, akan datang kau akan nampak.." - Sarah, 2020
Assalammualaikum...
More than a year of not writing, and hey, I'm surviving! Haha...
I am still here, most of the time wanting to write, eager to rant but I had been trying to cope with lots of thing throughout the year. I had been missing this space of mine, and today the thought of forcing myself to write the summary as well as the closure of the year, and that's why I'm here!
So, where should I start?
JANUARY - MARCH 2021
I started this year with something new, stepping into the new world of having a career. It was fun at first, filled with spirit and what made it the sweetest journey was the friendship that I could enjoy momentarily. Working with young, determined colleagues; nothing stops us from dreaming big. At least that was what we thought... But hey, Allah knows the best. We hit the rock bottom, leaving the spirit and left everything behind... One thing that's left was the sweetest memory called friendship that did not exist anymore.... Anyways, still, praying the best for them... 💖
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| A selfie with the person that made my life was more than anything when I was still working there... 💞 |
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| I am praying for everyone and as well for those who are not in the picture.. Thank you for the best memories that we had created together...💕 |
APRIL - MAY 2021
I decided to stepped out from the company and just about to start fresh when I was diagnose of positive COVID-19 on the very first day of work. What made it horrifying for me was the fact that I am already at stage 4 by that time and there were too many "what if..." playing in my mind. But alhamdulillah, I forced myself to remain positive, knowing that my family were praying hard for me was something that I am truly grateful. Ever since then, I started to be more concern of my health.. Well, congratulations dear self... We made it!
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| Putting this here because this was the only outside food that I received while I had admitted for more than 10 days... Thank you Kak Wul for willing to treat me just because I'm craving for it! Love ya till death! |
MAY - DEC 2021
I am officially a lady with a stable career!!! Nothing is more satisfying for me other than striking a job in the middle of this horrid pandemic. I'm pretty sure I used to rant on how I'm not gonna teach anymore, the reason made me feel like teaching was not for me but hey, I could only plan while Allah is the best planner of all... So yup, I am currently teaching at an English Centre which is not the typical teacher but I shall tell you about this more on my future posts. Let's just hope I won't go missing again... haha!
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| The first kid that made me feel, "yes, I want to work here, to teach her!"😍 |
THE CLOSURE
Till then,
Assalammualaikum...
It's 4.20 am and here I am, realizing that I still have a blog that I had abandoned for quite something and thinking, "Hey! It's been a while... Let's write on you something!"
But then, here am I, wondering what should I write or how shall I start because to be frank, there's not much happening in my life besides being jobless, being an owl till Ibu getting so mad at me as she could barely see me on daylight and also, I believe I am gaining so much of weight till Ibu can't stop babbling at me, pushing me to go on a diet but at the same time, she got worried whenever she didn't see me having any meal for the day, forcing me to forget my diet and keep eating... So yeah, that's the summary of my life so far... 😂
There's actually two working position queuing for me; one to be the mentor of Cosmotots (Yeah, I might be teaching, guys!) and another one is a questionable position offered by MARA to the former students of KPTM. However, they were put on hold as we could not travel overdue to PKPB so yeah, I blame the virus for making me jobless!
However, I believe Allah holds the best not only for me but also for everyone else. Some of you might face the same struggle while some may even be facing the worse so I wish you nothing but to stay safe and chin up in whatever you're going through... I guess that is all for me, as another sign I am coming back (hopefully) and till then, have a blast day everyone... 💞
Assalammualaikum...
*healing a deep breath*
It's awkward for me to write, especially after months of letting this space bare. I missed writing a lot; missing to blog walking even more but there's basically nothing for me to write... There were plenty of stuffs happened; been in lock down and struggled doing nothing, completed my internship but hell I didn't know if it should be considered as a success since I had been procrastinating a lot as well.
These past few months had been a misery for me, really. May was the month of my birth and I would write a dedication post for myself every single year but I decided to not write any this year... I had been meaning to write for the festive of Syawal as well but ended up not writing any; simply because I didn't celebrate any this year. Everyday was the same; dull day for me... No baju raya, only shirts and pants for me please.
It is my first year of everything without my dad so the passion was just not there anymore. We had been missing him even more lately and every single thing reminded us of him. I know my previous entry had been all about him but what shall I do when it is so hard for us to bear with it? Well, at least the tears were no longer there and the memories were all we had.
Anyways, I will try my best to keep writing sooner or later and hopefully, this entry would be the benchmark for me to start writing back. Till then, I shall see you again and I guess it is never too late for me to wish you Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Maaf Zahir dan Batin.😊
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| credit: weheartit |
Tatkala malam menyepi...
Hanya aku disini, tidak bermimpi...
Menantikan cahaya, berpaksikan bumi...
Menyanyikan lagu, menghiburkan hati...
Kata sang hati, aku tidak sendiri...
Biarkan ia pergi..
Kerana dia kan tetap disini...
Kubisikkan pada bulan...
Temanilah hati yang kelam..
Bisikku pada bintang..
Hiburkanlah hari yang mendatang...
Kerana hanya padamu bulan...
Aku sandarkan harapan...
Dan padamu bintang...
Aku temui cahaya kehidupan..
written by;
-Flavnesz @ Chapters_ 4.17 a.m.-
Assalammualaikum....
Is it just me or time surely past by so fast? 4 months 10 days without you., welp, it's been quite rocky road for us, pa... Ibu will officially be free from her "iddah" and her long waiting moment would finally be over.. She had been missing you a lot and pretty sure she is looking forward to "meet" you tomorrow.
Pa, everyone is moving forward and without you besides us, it's an awkward journey for all of us... Everyone missed you badly and we had beenpretending as if we're strong enough but to be frank, we're crying in our silence... Even Qaid missed you so much by claiming that the house felt empty without you...
Pa... I started my internship but I literally choked down on my way to work since it felt so weird to start my new phase of life without you... I truly wish I could still rant with you,to see that proud face of yours seeing me started to drive by myself, managing my life without depending on anyone anymore... Yup, your final daughter is officially a grown up now...
Pa, there's nothing more that I want in this life besides making you proud of me... And for that, I would not give up in this journey and this unstoppable of missing you feeling would be my spirit booster for life... Thank you for being my strength and for becoming the reason for me to success... You was and you are still the reason of my everything.. Love you Pa...
"Papa tau perjalanan kau nis... Fokus... Teruskan buat papa bangga dengan kau." - Ateh.
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