They say..

"Just be yourself..!"

"Let people accept you for who you are..!"

"Never change yourself for others..!"

"People may judge but there will still be people whom loving you..."

And I said...

"If people do accept me for who I am.."

"Why am I still losing ones day by day...?"

"Why do that person kept putting a gap between us..?"

"Am I that horrible..?"

"Well, it's just means that the person ain't the best in your life.."

But.. 

What if...

It's just me whom really need to change..? 

Just maybe, I act in my worst..

And maybe.. 

I should change to be a better version of my own..

Don't you think so..?

And my mind answered, 

"Who are you trying to flatter to..? Yourself... or others..?"

Just right after, the heart whispered,

"Can't you just stop thinking on others and just love yourself more..? It's your responsible to produce the best version of you and each person do have flaws.. Stop judging yourself but keep constructing a better you.. If it's not you, who else would..?"

Dearest self...
If people kept leaving, it might not because of you...
It might be because of themselves..
It was their flaws of not accepting you for who you are...
Stop concerning on others...

But never neglect any advices..
Change when you could..
Accept it when you would...
But stop forcing yourself...
That's how your life should be..

Assalammualaikum.. 

As usual, I would be in awkward position, every single time I'm back to this space.. My life as a degree student was not a leisure anymore, as I had been spending my weekends by jotting down the notes for each subject and I had been forcing myself for not lazing around anymore.. I'm truly determined to gain at least 3.5 for every semester and I'm really working hard for it.. I do get distracted sometimes, being emotional and whatsoever but Alhamdulillah, I'm definitely growing up in composing myself and to ignore the irrelevant matters..

To those whom still reading my entries, leaving the comments and stuff, thank you so much.. I still can't do some blogwalking for this particular moment, as there's more notes waiting me to be jotted down but I truly promise you that I will definitely visit you guys once I sorted out this busy life of mine.. Just bear with me for awhile, will ya...? ☺

Anyways, since the SPM results had just been released and I had received a comment asking for advice of how I dealt with presentations and stuff, and I was thinking, why not..? I'm all up to share my tips with you and hopefully, it could be hopeful to those whom really afraid of stepping out from the comfort zone. 

1.How to boost up the confidence in speaking English..?

I do know some of you are afraid to speak English just because of the grammar error itself but actually, there's only one way to solve this problem. 

Start speaking and stop concerning on the grammar itself... People might judge, and typical Malays might laugh at you but to be honest, even some of the non-Malays and as the matter of fact, there are English netizens whom didn't speak proper English.. So why should you be afraid..? Major of these English speakers don't even bother on your grammar error so calm down.. Start speaking English, be confident that your English is good and I promise, you would notice that your grammar would slowly improving from time to time.. Practice makes perfect, remember..? 

2. How do I deal with the presentations..?

This is something that is hard for me to answer but I would try my best to help... hahaha.. So.. How do I deal with them eh..? One thing about me when it comes to presentation is that I don't practice anything at all. I think practicing ain't helpful since it would only put me in tense. So, how do I present..?

I always belief that understanding is the best instead of memorizing and with that principle, I manage to perform my presentation without bringing any paper for me to read. I always put only the keywords on the slides and let my brain do the rest. Well, this method helps me in gaining extra marks actually, since there's nothing for me to read, so by hook or by crook, all I need to do is to speak all the points from my own knowledge regarding the keywords from the slide. This method might seems impossible to you but trust me, never underestimate the power of Understanding. You might be impressed with your brain when you applied this method but of course, this method needs to be paired with confidence.. 

Umm.. Group presentation ain't a favorable task to me as I need to compose myself hard just to avoid arguments with the group members. Most of the time, these group works were evaluated individually, based on the teamwork and how you presented your part so I tried my best to perform on my part and yeah, helping the mates if I should... That's it..! Just make sure you know something extra instead of focusing on your part only.. Knowledge is always a bonus, remember that..!

3. How to be confident during presentation..?

Being an introvert, it's not easy for me to do the presentation.. You might be thinking; 

"She don't practice,no notes in hand and she just put keywords on the slides, therefore she must be having a high confident level.." 

Uhh.. No.. I'm a huge introvert by myself and I hate facing the crowds.. Presentations do made me  drowned in the nervous sea and I always make sure to do two things at the start of the presentation..

1. Pray for an ease and state in the Dua' why you should nail it. 

2. Find someone whom could help you to feel at ease..It could be your friends, or someone that you barely know and he/she is focusing on you but yet, you could remain in calmness.. Avoid looking at your crush or anyone that might pull of that nerve of yours.. Well, I always had a prince charming that manage to help me in calming down my nerve and if he's not around, I just have to find another person and normally, I'd just have to find a familiar face..😂

Well.. I guessed I answered all of your questions, Ayuni and just in case there's more in your mind, feel free to drop your questions in the comments below.. I'm up for anything and willing enough to answer it.. About tesl, kuptm or whatsoever..Till we meet again and please pray for my degree journey, guys...  😆

I'm not in a good condition within this past few week.. I'd been dealing with various internal conflicts and obviously, I'm fighting with the negativity inside me.. I was smiling and laughing all the way but deep inside, it's empty.. Even my favorite lecturer noticed my misery and yet, I kept convincing her that I'm okay..

"Razanah Anis dah besar kan..?"

" Kenapa mengada sangat ni..? Benda kecik je pun..."

"Dah la.. Tolong la jadi matang.."

I kept chanting those phrases with the hope that I'd be okay but, no.. Nothing works for me till one day, I woke up early while everyone was asleep and look for Him... In the darkness, I cried upon Him, begging for the best strength in me and the next thing, I'm feeling as light as the feather..

You can count on me like one two three..
I'll be there..

And yes I know could always count on Him as He was and will always be there, willing and waiting for any cries of help..  One biggest thing that I believe that every Muslim should be grateful to be His servant and to be able to depend on Him.. Afterall, He's that one true "friend" that would never leave you in misery as long as you're with Him.. Right..? ☺