Chapter 39: Rant on Life - April

Sunday, April 23, 2017


I hereby, would like to declare myself on semi-hiatus starting from today.. Well, my final examination had started today and there's only one paper left before my semester 5 officially ends.. Somehow, I still had some assignments to be submitted right after the paper ends and I barely had my time to write.. However, I would feel guilty if I abandon this blog without any explanation so here I am, hoping for your understanding.. Please wish me luck, guys and please pray for my strength to complete this final loads.. πŸ˜₯ 
P/s: I'm sorry for those whom had been commenting on my posts but I haven't paid any visit yet, due to my hectic life.. I'll definitely pay the visit when I'm back.. πŸ’•

Cinephile: Fabricated City [2017]

Friday, April 21, 2017

Assalammualaikum.. Semester 5 had been killing my soul as I barely had time to catch the cinema.. Believe it or not, I've only watch 3 movies this year; XXX: Return of Xander Cage, Beauty and The Beast (I'm not going to do any review on this since I'm late but I love it..!) and the latest, a korean movie which I'm going to write the review today, Fabricated City..! 

Chapter 38: The Dead Flowers

Saturday, April 15, 2017


Chapter 37: Humiliating Back to the Memory Lane

Thursday, April 6, 2017


If you do read my 2017 resolution, I do mentioned about continuing my unfinished malay novel writing but somehow, I think it's just impossible for me to write that story anymore. Each time I re-read the story, my mind went blank, and I kept asking myself "Seriously, this is from you..?"

It's filled with "jiwang" words which made me cringe now. I tried to re-write it in less "jiwang" mode but come to think of it, why not if I just share to you guys the original-unedited version of it and let you guys cringe together... πŸ˜‚

Kadang-kadang, cinta ni ajaib tapi aku dah tak percaya dengan "true love". Bagi aku sekarang, guys are sucks.. Tapi entah kenapa, hati yang selama ini dibatukan menjadi lemah setelah membaca nota darinya? Adakah hati ini telah berjaya dibuka kembali? Sungguh aku tidak sanggup untuk dilukai kembali".
"love is a great feeling that can not be expressed with words .. love can make you smile .. but .. it also makes you cry .. you who will bring color to your love .... and as for me, i will make sure you are charmed with my love.." - zafrul- 
Diari kesayangan ditutup dan diletakkan di sisi. Kakinya pula laju mengocak air laut yang jernih dan merelakan mukanya ditampar lembut oleh sang bayu. Inilah rutinnya bila  dilanda masalah atau dilema, mendambakan diri kepada keindahan ciptaan Allah S.W.T. Sedang dia leka melayan perasaan, bahunya disentuh seseorang. Dia tersentak dan sebaik sahaja dia berpaling, jantungnya berdegup kencang melihat sang jejaka sedang berdiri sambil melemparkan senyuman kepadanya, lantas dia bangun dan meninggalkan sang jejaka sendirian. Tidak sanggup rasanya untuk terus berperang dengan hatinya. Langkahnya terhenti pabila pergelangan tangannya dicengkam oleh Zafrul..

"Kau nak ke mana Larissa? Puas aku cari kau di kampus tadi... Kau cuba mengelak dari aku ye? Kenapa kau jadi macam nie Larissa? Kau seolah-olah bukan Larissa yang mula aku kenal. Larissa yang peramah. Larissa yang ceria bak suria pagi. Tapi sekarang, nak tengok kau senyum pun susah. Susah sangat ke kau nak terima aku sebagai penjaga hati kau Larissa?"

"Zafrul, please. Aku masih lagi Larissa yang dulu kau kenal. Tentang lamaran kau tu, aku minta maaf, aku tak boleh terima. You deserve the best girl Zafrul but it's not me. Tolong lepaskan tangan aku. Aku harus pulang sekarang"

Jawapan Larissa memang mengecewakan hati Zafrul. Hanya anak mata yang mampu mengekori langkah Larissa. Sebaik sahaja langkah Larissa semakin jauh, Zafrul tersedar ada sebuah buku di atas batu yang Larissa duduk.

"Buku apa nie? Macam diari. Larissa punya ke? Ahh.. balik rumah je la baru baca.."
Malam itu, Zafrul menyelak satu demi satu diari milik Larissa. Matanya laju membaca butir-butir kata dalam diari tersebut..

"Si dia melamarku hari ini.. betapa gembiranya hatiku?? hanya Tuhan yang tahu.. setelah sekian lama aku memendam rasa cinta, menyangka diriku hanya bertepuk sebelah tangan.. dan akhirnya.. hari ini dia membuktikan yang aku tidak bertepuk sebelah tangan.. Semoga hubungan ini direstuimu Ya Allah"
mengapa ada sahaja yg mencemburui ku?
mengapa apabila aku telah mendakap keinginanku,
ada pula yg menghancurkan nya..
aku ingin kan cinta yg tulus..
dan mendambakn cintaku pda yg ikhlas...
hatiku terlalu ingin menyayangi seseorg..
apakah darjat dapat membezakan cinta?
ku ingin mendapatkan kasih..
mencurahkan sayang..
dan mendakap cinta yg tulus..
masih berpeluangkah aku?
"Ku sangka dia jujur mencintaiku.. tetapi aku salah.. tidak ku duga dia membalas kesetiaanku dengan racun kecurangan..pedihnya menusuk hatiku.. menikam jantungku..
Up till now, I'm still laughing at this. I even put a note under the post of my old entry (which is being kept safely in the draft) that those jiwang words was originally written by me..! πŸ˜‚ And I keep recalling on my myself of how do I came up with such words, but failed... So now, my challenge is to scramble all this jiwang stuff and write this back, in a normal word, if I could or maybe, I should just bury these characters and forget about it..πŸ˜…

Chapter 36: Route to Resolution - March

Sunday, April 2, 2017

Assalammualaikum... If I have to conclude my previous 31 days in one word, I'd say, it's the worst month of the year, so far.. To be frank, I've no idea what to write in here, feeling dis motived thinking of what I've been facing but oh well, let's just give it a try.. Shall we..?

  • Spend wisely.
Hmm... I think it was the month which I failed to hold myself from buying a template... Well, I've stalking this template for quite sometime, debating either to just grab it or pick a cheaper one.. I tried to wheedle myself for a cheaper one, but again, can't take my eyes away from this one so once I received my pocket money, I just made up my mind and grab it.. Uhh.. Not changing to any other template for a year, I guess..?πŸ‘‰πŸ‘ˆ

  • Saving money.
My monthly saving is still on it's right track... I've been receiving some extra money as the reward of helping during my sister's wedding so extra money had been saved..! Not to forget, VASE had been helping me in getting some extra money too.. 😊

  • Stop being an angry bird.
Well I think I could remove this from my list now.. One resolution had been successfully achieved, I guess..? Well, I'm not fully an angel right now, but I tend to keep my anger to myself,even sometimes I do complaint to my friends on certain matter .Instead of being an angry bird, I'm being a sensitive baby now. I could cry easily and only Allah knows how much my heart and mind had been battling inside, trying to calm myself down.. 

  • Focus on diet.
Since last month was the month where I'm worried about fitting into the dress for my sister's ceremony, I'm so glad that nothing chaotic happened.. I managed to fit it in..! Anyways, I'm planning to give a try on other method of diet but I'm still trying to get my research done.. To motivate myself, my dad had allow  me to buy another 4 dress yes..!! Another dresses into my collection!! which obviously, I need to give my best to fit in.. 

Actually, On the day I seek my dad's permission to buy some new dresses during a clearance sale, he couldn't agree for it but he couldn't expressed it to me. When one of my sister told me that he informed her on the evening that he felt it's unnecessary for me to grab the dress, I'm totally fine with it.. I've been waiting for him to say no for it, but then, he's the one whom keep calling me, asking "bila nak beli baju..?" and with guilt, as I know how un-willing he was, I told him that I'd get only 2 dresses at the cheapest price, he paused and said "takpe la, amik je la lebih.. Papa bagi RM200 untuk kau beli baju.." 😨

Told my sisters about this and their response were, " Weh, mana aci.. Habis anak dia yang lain ni macam mana..?" and "Papa memang kalah betul dengan kau kan.. Tak boleh betul nak cakap NO dengan kau.."*flip hair* "It's the perk of being the last child, sissy.."πŸ˜‹

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