Last chapter of the year..! It feels surreal, realizing that this year is coming to the end.. Finally, the first solid year of me being here after years of leaving this space... 2017 had been everything, of success and failure.. Of tears and laughter.. But I wouldn't deny it's a year filled with thousands of spices... Here are some bittersweet memories of 2017..!

I thought my blogging spirit would leave in a minute, just like the previous year, but hey~ I'm still here.. ! It feels so good to be here, expressing my thoughts and emotions;  this space really soothes my soul.. I even made a huge decision by stepping out from my comfort zone by having a domain of my own.. Well, let's just hope that it's a sign that I would be here for quite some time.. And to be honest, I didn't expect to have anyone to read my rants but I'm honored to have you guys as my backbone..Thank you so much, everyone whom had been supporting me till now...!😭

• Graduated Diploma in Tesl 

I've finally ended my diploma with flying colors and to be honest, I'm still in disbelief that my war with my dad had ended.. After 4 and a half years, we finally made peace right after I received my diploma scroll.. Not only that, I was completely spoiled by my siblings; a special homemade cheesecake, 2 bouquet and "Solvil et Titus" watch..! It was the day where I kept telling myself, "you're completely blessed, Razanah Anis.."💕

• Losing my loved ones

"Tok"..

The thought that she's no longer around, I would have to say, I missed her a lot.. It was never easy to lose someone whom puts the best faith in you, and I had been holding to the memories that I had created with her.. I even dreamt of her, twice, and for both dreams, I could see her face clearly, smiling to me... Even my mom was shocked to know that I had met tok in my dream.. She is and always be the most special person in my life..💘

New Koala Bear
Oh well, I might had lost one of my loved ones but I'm adding another one this year too.. This little sweetheart surely an alive koala as she really love to sleep on me.. Nur Aisyah Hannan, you gonna love me as I'm your fun mashu whom would be spoiling you with lots of cartoons but in the same, you'll be annoyed as I love to tease my little ones as well.. Get ready, kay..?

• School Practicum

These kids were another blessings in my life.. Being a practicum teacher for 3 months was a roller-coaster of my life but they had been my everything ever since then... They made me laughed a lot, and stressed out a lot too but in the end of the day, I wouldn't trade my love for these kids with any other students.. I loved them so much till I kept telling myself, "These are my babies and they will always be, till the end.."

ps: There's actually another two classes that I taught but this is the most decent photos in my gallery and as u can see,they're over excited with camera.. So yeah.. 😓

• First Vacation with Friends

Another best memories that I had this year.. I'll just hope that this wouldn't be the last memory that I had created with them.. Let's just hope for many more years of friendship, and Insya-Allah, till the end..

Dear 2017, you had been a blast year for me and although you brought me down for awhile with the death of my loved ones.. I would still say thank you for reminding me that there's no year without hardships and the pain had changed me into a better self... Well, not completely as I'm still struggling but I will try my best to stay strong.. Welcome 2018..! Feel free to step in but could you please shine up my life with more sparkles✨ and rainbow🌈, as 2017 had gave it best, I really hope you would too..!Well, not only for me but for everyone.. Shall you..? ❤

8.24 p.m: 19/12/2017

Assalammualaikum.. 

There are certain moments...
where words are meant to be spilled...
And that's when..
Love is getting nourished...

But..
There are times...
Where words are meant to be kept..
Love are meant to become the secret of heart..
And that's when...
The fear conquers it all..

The affliction of getting rejected..
The distress of losing someone we adore..
And the discomfort of continuing the relationship that we had..

That's how..
These unspilled words..
Conquers everything..
With the hope that nothing changes..

But deep inside...
It's crying...
Dying to be spilled out..
Hoping for something amazing...

The questions is...
Will these unspilled words...
 Remain in silence..?

1.22 a.m : 14/12/2017