Chapter 62: Untuk Papa...

November 18, 2017

Assalammualaikum..

Being the youngest in the family, my father had set the biggest vision on me..  He had been imagining that I would accomplish his dreams, of becoming the certified accountant.. However, I'm not the easiest one to deal with, as "I'm filled with surprises".. That's how Kak Chik had been claiming of me..

I'm always the laziest person in the family, I didn't study as much as my other siblings did, I didn't bother of getting number one in every school examination, I didn't care about my homework at all but one thing or sure, I always perform with big examinations.. I had a record of having a boyfriend since form 4 and I manage to keep the secrets till SPM results came out, freaking everyone out that I could still manage to get good results... That is how surprising I could be.. 

When I decided to stop ACCA and proceed to TESL, my dad freaked out the most.. He could not look at me, his eyes were filled with anger and there's no comforting words coming from his mouth and he keep depressing me on things.. He even sent a text filled with points of how I made a huge mistake, how my life would be a hell in the future and my biggest supporter atm, Ateh, had to face his anger too.. She called me, crying and begging me to perform my best, hoping that I could show to my dad that it was never a mistake...

28/10/2017, the day that would change everything finally showed up.. He didn't realize that my convocation was coming, giving me a signal that he didn't bother of it at all.. Everything was still awkward at first, he didn't show his smile at all, and we only look at each other awkwardly.. When it was the moment for me to come up on the stage, I had been chanting;
Untuk Papa... Razanah Anis, kau ambil benda ni untuk papa.."
That's what I've been repeating in my heart, and Alhamdulillah, everything went smoothly.. When I finally came down to meet my family, I could see how Ateh had been focusing at the escalator, eager to find me.. And there's a person, looking at me warmly with a smile on his face.. A smile that I had been missing for years.. That's when I know, I finally did it.. !


"5 anak Papa.. Kau paling susah papa nak jaga.." - He used to tell me this 6 years ago..
Pa.. I'm sorry for being the most rebellious kids in your life.. I'm sorry for not granting your dream, even when you had faith in me.. I know how much you had hopes in me but I was afraid if I would fail in the end.. I didn't want to be the black sheep of the family and that's why, I'm trying my best to make a u-turn.. It was never an easy journey, without your blessings.. But it was a wonderful journey and seeing the success that I had made, seeing how I manage to make you smile in the end, it was the best feeling I have ever had.. I was hoping that I could have the ANC award for you but, it's impossible without your blessings but Allah helped me to be among the first class students.. And thankfully, that's enough for me to put a smile on you..There will be more for you pa...Always for you.. πŸ’•

15 comments:

  1. congrates for your graduation. it's okay. we are still learning and as long as we're in the right path its okay to just be yourself.

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    1. Thank you for your kind words.. I know it's okay to be our own self but the journey might not be easy.. But I'm still fighting for it.. :)

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  2. Congrate girl. Yang lepas jadikan semangat untuk harini dan seterusnya. However he will love you until his last breath, mungkin cara seorang ayah ni tunjuk care and love berbeza :)

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    1. Thank you...πŸ’• Yup, tak semua ayah mampu tunjuk kasih sayang diorg,kan..? hee..

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  3. Congrats Anis for your gradution! Berkat hasil usaha berbaloi juga :) Semoga sentiasa diberi kesihatan yang baik dan dipermudahkan semua urusan agar ANis dapat membahagiakan ayah dan family tersayang :)

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    1. Thank you Siqah.. πŸ’•
      Amin.. Insya-Allah semoga semua dipermudahkan.. hehe..

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  4. Parents only want their children to be succesful and happy.

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    1. But somehow, some became over-protective till they forget that their children could make their own decision.. :)

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  5. Congrats on your graduation. I may get a gist of what you were feeling as I have faced similar situation few years ago.

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    1. Thank you Farah.. Aww I'm sorry that you have to face the similar journey as I did..

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  6. Bergenang air mata reading this.
    Congrats on your graduation anis!

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    1. *wipes your tears* heee.. Thank you Lya..!

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  7. Congratulation girl! May Allah blessed you and your family and manage to get through all the obstacles in your life. You doin a great job there. :D

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  8. Congratz , dear Hanis.

    oh My, berair mata nadia baca. After all berbaloi usaha Hanis. You make your Dad proud and happy. Alhamdulillah. =)

    Tiada apa yang lebih berharga bila seorang anak dapat lihat senyuman yang terukir di bibir ibubapa kita untuk kita.

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