Chapter 7: Size vs. Friendship

December 7, 2016

Assalammualaikum... 

Being a big size girl is not an option.. I believe, no one asked for it.. It's just a fate that Allah had granted to certain people but humans tend to forget that.. Well, not everyone would but trust me, there are lots of judgemental people whom looking down at us.. Some may accept fat people as if nothing wrong with it but some would be cynical .. And that's what I've been going through for years...

When you're a kid, the term 'gemuk' would always hurtful enough but you wouldn't care.. Your life is all about having fun and eat delicious food but as the time past by, it would be hard for you to hear the word but actually people is insulting you silently... Well, I used to found a written doodle on one of the school table , insulting me as it's written, "(......) Razanah besar macam (.....)"




I censored them as it's would not be nice for people to read it.. Believe it or not, they became in chaos when they knew I had a bf at that particular time.. And some was eager to know how and why he chose me, as if he's blind enough to be with me.. Not enough with that, even my ex received their judgement, saying "oh biasa je.. " and "oh.. takde la hensem pun.."

Seriously, what's wrong with them? It's not that I'm flirting with your bf or something.. Kalau aku dapat pakwe hensem, macam mana la huru-hara time tu agaknya.. Lagi teruk agaknya.. -.-

When size are used as the standard for a friendship, is that really what friendship are meant for? 

After SPM, I'm too afraid to go to college simply because of my size... That's when I realize I'm becoming an introvert.. I didn't speak to anyone as I felt like people are looking at me weirdly.. However, they approached me and somehow, everything changed... My perception that skinny people would not approved fat person as their friends had vanish.. Well, maybe not everyone would accept you in fat version but without realizing it, you tend to just ignore it.. Afterall, it's the process of being an adult and size won't be a matter in friendship anymore, at least for some people.. Right?    

6 comments

  1. I'm sorry to know that you experienced such disgusting incident because of your size. I know it's hard but ignore them, they weren't worth your time or your emotion.

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  2. ignore them dear, you're not defined by your size. everyone have their own uniqueness and beauty. :)

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  3. @Lya Amie: Alhamdulillah it's over but the memories remains..

    @Cik Zue: Thank you and yes, everyone has their own uniquenes.s. :D

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  4. I couldn't brain people who choose friends based on appearance.

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  5. hanging out with these kind of friends will only make you stronger..
    may you achieve goodness in life..

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  6. @Nurul Rasya: I know right.. What is so important with appearance?!

    @kyo_9: They do make me stronger.. Amin..! :D

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