by Flavnesz

Chapter 37: Humiliating Back to the Memory Lane

April 6, 2017
Assalammualaikum..


If you do read my 2017 resolution, I do mentioned about continuing my unfinished malay novel writing but somehow, I think it's just impossible for me to write that story anymore. Each time I re-read the story, my mind went blank, and I kept asking myself "Seriously, this is from you..?"

It's filled with "jiwang" words which made me cringe now. I tried to re-write it in less "jiwang" mode but come to think of it, why not if I just share to you guys the original-unedited version of it and let you guys cringe together... 😂

Kadang-kadang, cinta ni ajaib tapi aku dah tak percaya dengan "true love". Bagi aku sekarang, guys are sucks.. Tapi entah kenapa, hati yang selama ini dibatukan menjadi lemah setelah membaca nota darinya? Adakah hati ini telah berjaya dibuka kembali? Sungguh aku tidak sanggup untuk dilukai kembali".
"love is a great feeling that can not be expressed with words .. love can make you smile .. but .. it also makes you cry .. you who will bring color to your love .... and as for me, i will make sure you are charmed with my love.." - zafrul- 
Diari kesayangan ditutup dan diletakkan di sisi. Kakinya pula laju mengocak air laut yang jernih dan merelakan mukanya ditampar lembut oleh sang bayu. Inilah rutinnya bila  dilanda masalah atau dilema, mendambakan diri kepada keindahan ciptaan Allah S.W.T. Sedang dia leka melayan perasaan, bahunya disentuh seseorang. Dia tersentak dan sebaik sahaja dia berpaling, jantungnya berdegup kencang melihat sang jejaka sedang berdiri sambil melemparkan senyuman kepadanya, lantas dia bangun dan meninggalkan sang jejaka sendirian. Tidak sanggup rasanya untuk terus berperang dengan hatinya. Langkahnya terhenti pabila pergelangan tangannya dicengkam oleh Zafrul..

"Kau nak ke mana Larissa? Puas aku cari kau di kampus tadi... Kau cuba mengelak dari aku ye? Kenapa kau jadi macam nie Larissa? Kau seolah-olah bukan Larissa yang mula aku kenal. Larissa yang peramah. Larissa yang ceria bak suria pagi. Tapi sekarang, nak tengok kau senyum pun susah. Susah sangat ke kau nak terima aku sebagai penjaga hati kau Larissa?"


"Zafrul, please. Aku masih lagi Larissa yang dulu kau kenal. Tentang lamaran kau tu, aku minta maaf, aku tak boleh terima. You deserve the best girl Zafrul but it's not me. Tolong lepaskan tangan aku. Aku harus pulang sekarang"

Jawapan Larissa memang mengecewakan hati Zafrul. Hanya anak mata yang mampu mengekori langkah Larissa. Sebaik sahaja langkah Larissa semakin jauh, Zafrul tersedar ada sebuah buku di atas batu yang Larissa duduk.

"Buku apa nie? Macam diari. Larissa punya ke? Ahh.. balik rumah je la baru baca.."
Malam itu, Zafrul menyelak satu demi satu diari milik Larissa. Matanya laju membaca butir-butir kata dalam diari tersebut..

"Si dia melamarku hari ini.. betapa gembiranya hatiku?? hanya Tuhan yang tahu.. setelah sekian lama aku memendam rasa cinta, menyangka diriku hanya bertepuk sebelah tangan.. dan akhirnya.. hari ini dia membuktikan yang aku tidak bertepuk sebelah tangan.. Semoga hubungan ini direstuimu Ya Allah"
mengapa ada sahaja yg mencemburui ku?
mengapa apabila aku telah mendakap keinginanku,
ada pula yg menghancurkan nya..
aku ingin kan cinta yg tulus..
dan mendambakn cintaku pda yg ikhlas...
hatiku terlalu ingin menyayangi seseorg..
namun..
apakah darjat dapat membezakan cinta?
kasih..
sayang..
cinta...
ku ingin mendapatkan kasih..
mencurahkan sayang..
dan mendakap cinta yg tulus..
masih berpeluangkah aku?
"Ku sangka dia jujur mencintaiku.. tetapi aku salah.. tidak ku duga dia membalas kesetiaanku dengan racun kecurangan..pedihnya menusuk hatiku.. menikam jantungku..
Up till now, I'm still laughing at this. I even put a note under the post of my old entry (which is being kept safely in the draft) that those jiwang words was originally written by me..! 😂 And I keep recalling on my myself of how do I came up with such words, but failed... So now, my challenge is to scramble all this jiwang stuff and write this back, in a normal word, if I could or maybe, I should just bury these characters and forget about it..😅
47 comments on "Chapter 37: Humiliating Back to the Memory Lane"
  1. Haha. Saya masa lepasan SPM dulu pun ada tulis jugak separuh jalan macamni. And of course ke arah cintan cintun macamni jugak. Umur jiwang kot time tu. Kihkih

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahahahah.. I wrote this when I was 19.. So yeah, lepasan SPM lagi la.. hahahaha..

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  2. Haha Erni pun pernah tulis novel separuh separuh lepas tu tak sambung dah sebab bila baca terus rasa annoying dengan jalan cerita tu walaupun idea dari kepala sendiri. It's just like 'why la aku penat-penat taip idea mengada dalam kepala ni' 😂😂

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahahahaha... When you left it for a while, you just can't cope with your brain anymore.. hahahaha

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    2. Saya tak pandai menulis. Kalau pandai dah lama kesah cinta kita saya novelkan. Gerenti meletup. Who knows.

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    3. Well, you could always give it a try Adam.. I would love to read your love stories.. :D

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  3. Anis, you have to complete writing the book and if the book will be too difficult for grown-ups, then you write it for my little Maiko and seangkatan dia.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Should I..? haha.. If I need to complete this, I'll have to start from scratch, Adam.. But thinking of your little Maiko might be reading the book seems an interesting offer.. Will give it a try..! XD

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  4. BV pulak dulu2 suka tulis kononnya macam puisi, lirik lagu. bila tengok balik, rasa nak gelak jugak tengok ayat jiwang kemain. :D

    keep writing. sambung je ikut rasa sekarang. boleh jadi rujukan utk masa depan pulak :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hhahaha.. I feel you BV.. Tu la rasa macam nak buat rujukan.. Tapi tengok la nanti macam mana

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  5. this is heart wrecking but cute in a way (serious) I can totally handle jiwang stuff (not in real world), so throw it! I'm ready! XD

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahahahah.. I can't since I'm not that jiwang anymore but I've few more episodes if you would like to.. hahaha

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  6. Writing is hard right? I respect writers who have several stories/books under their belt.

    I still have lot of unfinished stories that I write from high school that I've been keeping in drafts. I used to write mainly about the sappy cliche teenage love stories so it was funny reading it now.

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    Replies
    1. I do respect the writers too..! It's absolutely not easy to accomplish it.. haha,.. I bet almost all of had the history of writing love attempt.. xD

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  7. hahahaha jiwang karat juga rupanya anis ni. tapi anti dengan lagu jiwang karat macam mana tu kahkah. Please do complete the story! berbakat menulis cerita, kalau syed apa pun tak jadi.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahahhahahh.. I do listen to malay love songs but not the rock kapak.. Anis anti yang rock kapak je.. hahahahah.. Will try to complete it tapi kena buang dulu jiwang2 tu... hahahaha

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  8. HAHAHA, cringeeeee. :D

    I think I am a person who will enjoy this kind of words. Haha, luar ego, dalam suka. T_T

    hanisamanina.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahahahahha.. I wonder how come this side of me appears before? haha.. Dulu maybe suka (if not takkankeluar this stuff) but now, I can't handle it.. 🤣

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  9. Oh no this is so jiwang. Hahaha. I cannot. 😂

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  10. jiwang juga bila baca tapi Nadia rasa mcm ok je if jadikan novel. Hihihi.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. jiwang kannnn.. tapi takpe.. tu zaman 2013 punye jiwang.. hahahaha

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    2. Apa salahnya if you start writing again. It's quite nice though. =)

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  11. Haha I did it too once after SPM jugak, lol. Though novel jiwang dah berlambak di pasaran, I think there's nothing wrong trying to write one. Maybe yours would be waaay better than the one in the stores in term of storyline and your words. But soz not soz, you'll need to edit the words you wrote above lah haha. Part paling nak gelak guling2 was "Larissa yang ceria bak suria pagi" XD

    Anyway, if you feel like to and you have the passion, just go for it and I promise I'll be your number one reader as i'm sure you'll be excel at it :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahahahaha, that suria part, takyah cakap.. I facepalm terus.. hahahahaha.. Macam mana la boleh sampai tahap camtu.. hahahaha..

      Aww.. Thank you Lya..🤗

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  12. saya suka baca novel & suka menulis (that's why i write a blog) tapi nak menulis novel tu tak cukup kental la.. huhuhu...so hanya mampu membaca nye saya.. kalau anesz dapat tulis novel tu - good job, sgt kagum dengan awak.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha.. Tak cukup kental jugak kak but acah kental je ni.. haha

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    2. What is kental. I know kentang and kentut.

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    3. Kental tu kuat or tabah.. hahaha

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    4. Oh, kuat snd tabah. So are you kental?

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    5. hahaha.. I don't know.. Perhaps not..?

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    6. Anis,
      Perhaps not or maybe not. P ramlee kata cakap biar terang.

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    7. When it comes to that matter, nothing could be assure Adam..

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  13. Kena cuba habiskan, mana tahu mampu bersaing dengan novel-novel jiwang yang lain, :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Insya-Allah akan cuba habiskan.. haha

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  14. Mai pun masa nak habiskan novel pertama tu ada lambat sebab ada krisis dengan heroin sendiri. Like dia suka lari dari masalah, and what???Adakah aku yang wujudkan heroin tu? HAHAHAHAHA

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    Replies
    1. hahahaha.. selalu la kan, watak heroin tu watak penulis sendiri.. Adakah itu Cik Mai..? haha

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  15. Wahhh ada bakat menulis! Eh why don't you continue your wrtiting? Mana tahu boleh buat income nanti. Heheh :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bakat tu, hmm macam more like unexpected rambling..? haha.. I was planning to, but maybe not now sbb kinda busy..

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  16. Alaaa kenapa tak sambung... Nak bacaaaa lagi sampai habisss 😭💔

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Serious la nak suruh sambung dengan bahasa macam tu..? hahahhahaa

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  17. I have this kind of problem also. I start writing then I stop because of deserted idea. Fuhh..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha.. Well I stop writing due to my missing spirit.. xD

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  18. Anis!! Please please come back your jiwang mood <3 Siqah suka! Hihi. Harap idea akan datang kepada Anis ye. Sambung sampai habis tau. I'm waiting for the ending <3

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  19. Amboihhh, jiwang bebenor ni Nesz 😏 Teruskan penulisan novel 😄

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahahahha.. you may vomit if you want to.. XD

      Delete

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