Chapter 110: Surviving And Starting Fresh

Wednesday, November 27, 2019


Been wanting to write but I was thinking of updating it tomorrow instead and as I was just about to close the tab, my eyes accidentally caught on the right corner of the screen to only notice that it's been exactly two months since he left... A mixture feeling, but Alhamdulillah, I am surviving... 

I am starting fresh. Well, Papa wouldn't want me to be drown in sadness all the time and the only thing that motivated me to keep writing was the thought that I need to prepare myself for my upcoming internship which is just around the corner...

I am still debating on what should I become, as I had been saying, my current course is totally flexible but trust me, it is so hard to decide for the future when the door of opportunity is too wide. Ibu wanted me to become a lecturer for my internship which to the fact that we could if we are able to  any college that accept any intern; and even a friend of mine had been comforting me by saying that lecturer is the best for the bossy inner me... 😂

On the other hand, I really gave up on teaching as I realized, it was not my passion at all. Yes, I love my former SK Bukit Indah kids; I even went to the school recently just to witness their result but somehow, quite a disappointment for me (not based on their result). On my way back from the school, I totally made up my mind that I will no longer teach in school but to be a lecturer, I am still debating on that.

However, after lots of thinking, I realized that my one and only passion is writing, and no matter how much I am denying it, I could not lie to myself anymore. I just love it to the point that the sole career that is in my mind right now is to become a content writer of any company.

Anyways, due to that reason, I am changing the template once again and of course, after hours of being rambang mata; I could not leave Fearne's template behind... With the attempt to put this blog's link in my resume, I truly hope it would be helpful for me to get the chance. I am still searching for the opportunity, but I truly hope, I could find the way to be accepted and may Allah ease these journey of mine... Amin.. 
Throwback to the day when I can't decide on what do I want to work as and had a messy life as he was always the guidance of my life and talking to his tomb heals me indirectly... I will always do my best for you, Pa... 🥰
P/s: I'm calling off the night but I will do some major blogwalking real soon... 


  1. I'm sorry for your lost.

    I once wanted to be a teacher/lecturer too but soon realize I'm not good at teaching, teheee. Hope you'll find what you seek for and may your internship journey be a success!

  2. Al-Fatihah, may Allah give you strength.

  3. Ya Allah,besarnya dugaan kak Razanah.
    Wallahi I could feel how hurt it is...
    sorry I could do nothing but sedekahkan Al-fatihah for your papa <3
    I'm sending you a warm virtual hug <3 <3 <3 Stay strong!!!! :')

  4. Takziah and please hang in there Nesz. May Allah grant your father Jannah and may He give you strength

  5. Takziah to you and your whole family.
    I know how it feels like. Orang kata hilang ayah lagi berat dari hilang ibu but both equally important, loved and missed.

    If you no longer have the passion for teaching school kids, do follow your heart to be a lecturer. And I hope you get to be one soon, in the nearest future inshaAllah.

  6. Apa pun yang anis decide to do,kak ana doakan semoga semua dipermudah. Semoga terus sukses tahun 2020 ni.